Children and Anxiety

Changes in behavior or temperament are common flags that may indicate your child may be experiencing stress and anxious feelings. Some common signs include:

  • Complaints of stomach aches or headaches
  • Sleep problems or difficulty concentrating
  • Behavioral changes, such as moodiness, a short temper, or clinginess
  • Development of a nervous habit, such as nail bitin
  • Refusal to go to school or getting into trouble at school

Anxious feelings can also be caused by a child’s internal feelings and pressures, such as wanting to do well in school or fit in with friends, Some common causes of stress in children include:

  • Big changes in the family
  • Overly-packed  after school activities
  • Self-inflicted pressure
  • Stress caused by something happening within school
  • A terrible news event
  • A scary movie or a book

Traumatic Events and Recovery

Any event that places your life or the lives of others at risk results in your body going into a state of heightened arousal. This is like an ‘emergency mode’ that involves a series of internal alarms being turned on. Emergency mode gives people the capacity to access a lot of energy in a short period of time to maximise the chance of survival, for example running away from the event.

Most people only stay in emergency mode for a short period of time or until the immediate threat has passed. However, being in emergency mode uses up vital energy supplies and this is why people often feel quite tired afterwards.

The normal healing and recovery process involves your body coming down out of a state of heightened arousal. In other words, your internal alarms turn off, the high levels of energy subside, and your body re-sets itself to a normal state of balance and equilibrium. Typically, this should occur within about one month of the event….if this doesn’t happen then you should seek professional help…..I can help with this by using a technique called EMDR, please contact me on 07831 169635 for further information on how this can be successfully used.

Anxiety and Your Teenager

All children and young people get anxious at times, this is a normal part of their development as they grow up, and develop their ‘survival skills’ so they can face challenges in the wider world. In addition, we all have different levels of stress we can cope with – some young people are just naturally more anxious than others, and are quicker to get stressed or worried.

But if you think your child’s anxiety is getting in the way of their day to day life, slowing down their development, or having a significant effect on their schooling or relationships, it is best to try and help them tackle it.

The causes of anxiety can be complicated and it might not be one thing alone that is causing it.

We all have different levels of stress we are comfortable with. Being anxious or a ‘worrier’ can run in families – many parents whose children are anxious also remember being anxious in their own childhoods, and are keen to support their children so they don’t suffer in the same way. Personality type and temperament can also be a factor – some children are simply born more anxious or ‘nervous’ than others. So you might notice some of the following behaviors in your own child at times or most of the time……

Feeling scared, panicky, embarrassed or ashamed a lot of the time.
Not having the confidence to try new things, face challenges or even carry on as normal
Finding it hard to concentrate, or having problems with sleeping or eating.
Having angry outbursts where the person gets very angry very quickly and feels ‘out of control’.
Worries or negative thoughts going round and round the person’s head, or thinking that bad things are going to happen all the time.
If someone is very anxious they might feel they have to do or say certain things, or bad things will happen.

If you feel that any of the above is worrying you, your child or impacting on your family situation then contact me and let me help your child uncover the underlying cause of THEIR anxiety.

Teenagers and Family Battles

The teenage years can be a very difficult time for both the family and the teenager. The transition from childhood to adulthood is a hazardous journey that has to not only navigate hormones, body changes and developing identity, but also all the pressures that young people face these days, such things as exams, peer pressures, relationships and the social media.
This can create anxiety, confusion, depression, sadness and anger for some young people and for parents it is very distressing to see your teenagers struggle and seem overcome by the pressures and stresses of growing up. As hormones rage so can the battles at home which is unsettling for everyone. I can provide a space for the teenager and the family to help make some sense of what is happening.
I have worked in many high schools in the northwest and also for a leading northwest online counselling service for young people that covered many areas within the UK. I also offer this service in my private practice and if having read this you believe that I can be helpful for your family, please do get in touch with me and let me help your teenager to feel more understood and to regulate their own emotions in the face of a storm.

Power Manipulation

Power manipulation is the sabotage of your personal power in order to maintain a relationship. If you find yourself keeping hold of your personal power based on your own choices, decisions and strengths, this can disrupt and threaten your relationships with other people around you, even to a breaking point.
Their power to control and access you is threatened and they can fear they will lose you and instead of putting your interests at heart ahead of their own, they can try and drag you back down into the relationship they had known before with you. Whether they do this consciously or not is of little consequence to you as you listen and think for yourself.

So, have you heard those closest to you saying “you can’t” because they will be threatened if you “can”.

People who genuinely care for you will tell you the truth, even if you don’t want to hear it BUT they will also find a way to help you to get what you want, even if it scares them for you to change. HOWEVER examine their motives and keep your eyes wide open – there is a specific mechanism that people use to infantise you: to treat you as a child, so that you will behave childlike to the authority of their power!!! does this sound familiar to you and your relationships…